Yesterday we got two new pictures and a video of our sweet, beautiful daughter who waits for us on the other side of the world.
These pictures were taken just two days ago.
Very sadly, according to the person who took them, Hasya seems to be doing worse than she was when he saw her just a few weeks ago while she was in the hospital.
I read that and my heart almost stopped!
For one, it's hard to imagine that it's even possible for her to be doing
worse.
And secondly, my human heart cannot even begin to comprehend that this kind of thing actually happens!
Anthony and I watched the video through teary eyes. Absolutely heartbroken. Hasya has some strength in her neck, but cannot hold it up for longer than a few seconds. Her little arms are permanently contorted from lack of movement. Her eyes open for brief periods of time, and then close again. She tries hard to focus on people, but it's almost as if her little eyelids are too heavy to remain open. The look on her face seemed all too familiar to us. With an aching heart we wondered. Are they? Is she? Really? Drugged? There is no way of knowing for sure.
Just the thought of it is almost too much for my heart to bear. Having already weaned one child who was drugged for "best sleep" in an orphanage for five years, I simply cannot fathom fourteen years of it. I cannot.
I have advocated for so many children over the years. I have cried for them, longed for them to find families, ached for arms which would hold them tight. I have had sleepless nights praying for God to raise up families and keep little ones in good health until they can be rescued.
But. This time is different.
So very different.
This time it is not someone else's child I cry for.
She is MY child!
Today my heart is truly aching. Longing. Yearning. There is nothing we can do to speed things up and get to her faster. We have done all we possibly can to get through the required paperwork. We have begged and pleaded with every government official who has received the next piece of paperwork which needs to be completed in order to move on to the next step. Some days it consumes me.
But then I remember.
His still, small voice gently reminds me.
Jesus is Hasya's MORE-THAN-ENOUGH!
My Jesus has sustained this tiny little angel for fourteen long years. He has, and always will be, more than enough for her. He will continue to shelter her in the shadow of His wings until the day finally comes when she will be rescued.
"I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by."
Today I remind myself once again that Jesus is
more than enough for my daughter.
No matter how much she has been let down. No matter how many times her cries for help have fallen upon deaf ears. No matter how long she has been abandoned by every single person who was meant to love her and care for her....
She has
never been forsaken by her Father in heaven. Even now, as she continues to struggle, I believe with all my heart that Jesus is her more-than-enough. Even now, He is writing the story of her life...and it is going to be for His glory.
"I cry out to God Most High,to God who will fulfill his purpose for me."
He is more than enough for Hasya!
"He will send help from heaven to rescue me,disgracing those who hound me.
My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness."
~ Psalm 57:1-3
And so I choose to dig deep in my faith. I choose to hang onto the promises which God has given us for Hasya--that God will send forth His unfailing love and faithfulness!
Hang in there, sweet little one. Help IS on the way! Soon you will know what it feels like to have arms that embrace you and hold you tightly, enough food in your tummy to give you all the nutrition you so desperately require, medical attention to ease your pain, and even more than that....
You will know love which knows no bounds!
How desperately we love you.
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